We seem to be getting things backwards.

My message here will always be that we need more self care and more balance and positivity in life, I meet people every day who are over worked and stressed, living with pain and stress that they really shouldn’t need to and I do feel that much of it is a cultural mindset which has become a little skewed. Of course this is just my opinion, but it crosses my mind so often that I thought I would share this though in the hopes of spreading a message of positivity in the world…

While things are beginning to shift more towards a focus more on health and wellbeing these days, I often feel that we are still living in a society where many believe we should be pushing ourselves more than the next person, needing more coffee or booze to get through our days, that we have to survive on slightly less sleep than the next person. With some folks it can feel very much like a constant my life is harder than your life competition, the level that we push ourselves to is a point of pride for many.

Doing anything just for us, for wellbeing, is seen by many still as self indulgent, something to be done only when we have burned ourselves out or something that we should feel ashamed of.. I feel quite strongly that we have this all backwards.

Of course, being there for our families and friends, doing our work, paying our bills and generally contributing to society is and should be our top priority, but if we push ourselves to the limit, abuse our bodies and choose to live under constant pressure, it is more likely that we will struggle to be present for at least some of these tasks and that eventually we will burn out and be of no use to anyone.

The message is simple, we all need to take more pride in being the ones who get a full night sleep, the ones who work hard in their jobs but also make time for balance in life, taking time to enjoy some quiet time with a book or a brew, or a glass of whatever we enjoy, not because we are stressed and need it, but because we enjoy the taste of it. Encourage others to do things for their wellbeing too, hopefully in time you will hear less of the my life is harder contest, and more of people focusing on what is good in their life.

This is something we all know deep down, and it is a shift that needs to happen for the health of us all, changes start with small steps, with each of us working trying to be proud of what we have done for ourselves and others rather than what we have pushed ourselves to do.

Those perfectly balanced days we all long for are rare, trying for this is unrealistic, but aiming for balance in a week or a month is more realistic, try to think about the week ahead, what work needs doing? Who is it important to spend time with? What do you need to do to maintain your own mental and physical health and wellness? Katy Bowman often talks of stacking our lives, you need to move more, you need to spend time with family- go for a walk as a family, spend time together and moving more, walking to the shop stacks another activity on the list, you have done 3 things at once and probably not thought about it as much. You need to get some fresh air but you have work calls to do, get outside and walk as you work

Most important is to shift from the mindset of self care and life balance being a lovely thing for those who have the time to indulge, while each persons situation is different, I believe more balance and positivity can be brought in to everyone’s life if things are looked at with the right perspective. This isn’t to say we need to start caring only for ourselves, bragging about how much we meditate or judging those who work too hard. What we need is a general understanding that self care is an important part of life, it is different from self indulgence. Striving for better sleep quality, less stress and less dependence on whatever vice we lean on when times are hard will lead to more energy and focus for the things in life that need it, and a feeling of more time for that illusive work life balance which for many seems to have reached fairy tale status.

While of course, I believe we could all use a more regular holistic treatment to help maintain that good balance in mind and body (click here if that the self care that works for you) It is often the little things that we value in every day life, small acts of kindness for those around us and for ourselves, and the general shift in focus and priorities in our life which can bring the balance most of us are looking for.